REALITY DISTORTION

Hi there, stranger.

ABOUT/ASSHULZ.COM/TWITTER
Today I went to two birthday parties with my family. One was held at my cousin’s house, and one was at SM Fairview, which doesn’t count because my brother and I ditched it to watch a movie instead.
We watched Battle: Los Angeles and it was a pretty decent movie. I mean, I don’t like action movies and all, but I could tell it was good. Even though in my eyes it was just two hours of nonstop shooting and eyegasmic explosions. The thought of Michelle Rodriguez made me laugh at one part because I just realized how her acting career is solely based on being a tomboy and playing with guns.
The really amusing part of my day was when the movie finished and I stood up, and I saw this 80-year-old woman who was about to leave the cinema. What the hell was she doing there watching a movie like that alone?
And then I went to the comfort room and a LOT of guys were peeing. I was there, impatiently waiting for this specific guy in this specific stall. I couldn’t believe how long he actually peed! Holy shit, I waited three minutes for him to finish peeing. It’s like he had this penile dysfunction or something.
His pee could be compared to water dripping from a broken faucet. If he had taken much longer, I would have freaking wet my own pants and told him, “ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, YOU CUNT? ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW!?!?!?!”
But I found a vacant stall anyway, so it didn’t matter.

Today I went to two birthday parties with my family. One was held at my cousin’s house, and one was at SM Fairview, which doesn’t count because my brother and I ditched it to watch a movie instead.

We watched Battle: Los Angeles and it was a pretty decent movie. I mean, I don’t like action movies and all, but I could tell it was good. Even though in my eyes it was just two hours of nonstop shooting and eyegasmic explosions. The thought of Michelle Rodriguez made me laugh at one part because I just realized how her acting career is solely based on being a tomboy and playing with guns.

The really amusing part of my day was when the movie finished and I stood up, and I saw this 80-year-old woman who was about to leave the cinema. What the hell was she doing there watching a movie like that alone?

And then I went to the comfort room and a LOT of guys were peeing. I was there, impatiently waiting for this specific guy in this specific stall. I couldn’t believe how long he actually peed! Holy shit, I waited three minutes for him to finish peeing. It’s like he had this penile dysfunction or something.

His pee could be compared to water dripping from a broken faucet. If he had taken much longer, I would have freaking wet my own pants and told him, “ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, YOU CUNT? ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW!?!?!?!”

But I found a vacant stall anyway, so it didn’t matter.

  1. sukinichi said: HAHAHAH. Cool story bro
  2. amateurdreamer said: WOW. So malapit ka lang pala sa SMF. :>
  3. beyaaaaahh said: I MISS YOU GH3Y BOY!!!!!!!!!!!! :(
  4. deathpill posted this