So today my family and I woke up at six fucking thirty in the morning because we had to go to the hospital for our check-up.
When we got there, there was already a shit ton of people so we had to wait a Very long time before our number got called by the nurse. Four hours and thirty-thousand Pesos later (my dad had to do a lot of tests), them bitches finally called our names and we took our blood test. It was 10:30AM, I haven’t eaten breakfast yet that time, I just gave out my urine sample, and my blood was just taken by the nurse. Lovely.
It was only around twelve when my pArents finished their blood extraction and I was happy because IT’S FINALLY TIME TO EAT!!! We went to the nearest eatery we could find that no doubt promoted proper health and nutrition to the patients of Makati Medical Center—Burger King.
After lunch, my dad received some bad news. Since he didn’t fix a schedule with the doctors for the rest our appointments, the only test that was left for us was the optical exam. My brothers were a bit disappointed. Wouldn’t blame them because hey, there Goes the scooping up stool samples from the toilet for nothing! (Thank God I didn’t do mine.)
We decided to go to the mall after all that hospital shenanigans, and planned on watching a movie. Being the impatient bastard that Is my Dad, he said that we were only allowed to watch a film that was going to air in the next 10 minutes or else we were going to attend Mass. (And now you can see where I get my evil genes from.)
It was a choice between watching “Unofficially Yours” and listening to the priest for an hour and a half. Needless to say, it was the hardest decision I had to make in my entire life, but I chose to attend Mass iNstead. I felt so clever because I figured out that “Unofficially Yours” was at least 20 longer minutes of pain and suffering.
Nothing really interesting happened after that, except we ate at a Thai restaurant in which the food sucked nigger balls and I made random fart noises when we were inside the elevator and felt sorry for the confused looks of people’s fAces.
Fun fact: the italicized letters spell out “vagina”
