REALITY DISTORTION

Hi there, stranger.

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Ahoy!

Listed below are books that I yearn for; books that I can’t afford, books that I’m currently hunting down, or books that I just can’t find at our local bookstore. Because our local bookstores suck.

I thought of listing them down because: 1) I like making lists, 2) I always tend to forget the titles and authors, and 3) 1 & 2 is actually bullshit and I just absolutely want people to give me these books.

If you give me any of these books, I would love you forever and ever which will, by the way, increase the chance of me giving you my left kidney in case you get a really bad case of diabetes. 

Should you refuse to hand them over to me, I’m willing to pay from 1/2 to the original price (as long as you contact me and say “por favor seniores ooh la la” three times while patting your head and rubbing your tummy all at the same time). But no, really. Books are my life. I spend more money on these glued-on stacks of paper than the necessary food, water, and pornographic material. So please.

Thank you, and enjoy shopping for me! Yay! 

PRIORITY LEVEL: ★      

1Q84 - Haruki Murakami
ANNA KARENINA - Leo Tolstoy
BACK TO THE WILD - Christopher McCandless 
BATTLE ROYALE - Koushun Takami 
INTO THE WILD - Jon Krakauer 
ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST - Ken Kesey
REQUIEM FOR A DREAM - Hubert Selby, Jr. 
THE BUS DRIVER WHO WANTED TO BE GOD & OTHER STORIES - Etgar Keret 
WAR AND PEACE - Leo Tolstoy
WHITE FLUFFY CLOUDS - Brandon Boyd  

PRIORITY LEVEL: ★   ★ ✩ 

ABOUT A BOY - Nick Hornby
ANOTHER ROADSIDE ATTRACTION - Tom Robbins
HOWL AND OTHER POEMS - Allen Ginsberg
NAKED LUNCH - William S. Burroughs
THE DANGEROUS BOOK FOR BOYS - Conn & Hal Iggulden
THE MANGA GUIDE TO BIOCHEMISTRY
THE MANGA GUIDE TO CALCULUS
THE MANGA GUIDE TO DATABASES 
THE MANGA GUIDE TO ELECTRICITY
THE MANGA GUIDE TO LINEAR ALGEBRA 
THE MANGA GUIDE TO MOLECULAR BIOLOGY 
THE MANGA GUIDE TO PHYSICS   
THE MANGA GUIDE TO REGRESSION ANALYSIS 
THE MANGA GUIDE TO RELATIVITY
THE MANGA GUIDE TO STATISTICS 
THE MANGA GUIDE TO THE UNIVERSE
THE STRANGER - Albert Camus
THE WIND-UP BIRD CHRONICLE - Haruki Murakami
TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD - Harper Lee
TRANSMETROPOLITAN (any volume except the 4th!) - Warren Ellis  
TWENTY-ONE STORIES - Graham Greene
WHITE NOISE - Don DeLillo

PRIORITY LEVEL: ★    ✩ 

A SEPARATE PEACE - John Knowles
BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S - Truman Capote
FAT CAMP COMMANDOS - Daniel Pinkwater
FROM THE MURKS OF THE SULTRY ABYSS - Brandon Boyd
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS - Jonathan Swift
HANNIBAL RISING - Thomas Harris
HARRY POTTER SERIES (except the 7th!) - J.K. Rowling
INVISIBLE MONSTERS - Chuck Palahniuk
LORD OF THE FLIES - William Golding
MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA - Arthur Golden
NINE STORIES - J D Salinger
ON THE ROAD - Jack Kerouac
PYGMY - Chuck Palahniuk
PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER - Stephen Chbosky
RANT - Chuck Palahniuk
STARGIRL - Jerry Spinelli
STEAL THIS BOOK - Abbie Hoffman
SUBMARINE - Joe Dunthorne
TELL ME YOUR DREAMS - Sidney Sheldon
THE METAMORPHOSIS - Franz Kafka
THE MORNING OF THE MAGICIANS - Louis Pauwels & Jacques Bergier
THE SECRET ORDER OF THE GUMM STREET GIRLS - Elise Primavera 
TRAINSPOTTING - Irvine Welsh
TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE - Mitch Albom
VINELAND - Thomas Pynchon